You Die, I Die
by sisypheandreamer
Summary: Wait for me. Because I'm coming for you. Because if you die, I die too. Oneshot, Four!POV


**A/N:** Do not read if you haven't read Insurgent. I'm serious. There are spoilers. You have been warned.

X X X

There are only two emotions that register in my system the moment I see her sitting on my bed.

Anger.

Fear.

"Don't be an idiot," I say.

"An idiot?"

"You were lying. You said you wouldn't go to Erudite, and you were lying, and going to Erudite would make you an idiot. So don't." But I know she will. I know it. I know her well enough to know that she will never do as she's told if she's already made up her mind. I know I can't make her stop. And neither can she make me.

Only that was a lie. She could make me stop.

"Don't try to make this simple," she says. "It's not." Yes, it is. You stay here and keep yourself safe for once because I can't lose you. I can't. "You know as well as I do that this is the right thing to do."

And I know it, I just can't let her. She is my one great fear – losing her. I think of it, try to imagine it and I can't. Not without losing myself.

"You choose _this _moment to act like the Abnegation?"

Can't she see what this does to me? She knows; I know she knows. I know she knows that whenever she's not in the room, she's all I think about and when she is, she's all I see. She has to know that I have four fears but only one weakness. Fear makes you stronger, fear makes you human. Your weaknesses break you. She breaks me. Every single time I see her hurt, she breaks me.

"All that time you spent insisting that you were too selfish for them, and now, when your _life _is on the line, you've got to be a hero? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with _you_? People died. They walked right off the edge of a building! And I can't stop it from happening again!"

_I don't care, Tris._ _They're my friends too, my faction, and I don't care. All I saw on that ledge was that it wasn't you._ I wanted to say. But I couldn't. It was too selfish – but it was still true.

"You're too important to just… die." Sometimes I forget that you actually can die.

I look away from her because I need to hold back. She can't die because if she does, I do too. But I can't tell her that either.

"I'm not important. Everyone will do just fine without me."

"Who cares about everyone?" What about me? "What about _me_?"

I hold my head to keep it from falling. It feels like all the blood has reached my head and it's all I can do from falling over. I need to hold it. I need to hold back. I need to be strong for this girl because how else will she listen to me? Even if I know she won't. But I can't. I can feel myself tremble and I realize I can't. I can't hold it.

I can't hold back.

I cross the room to her and I'm still too slow. I need to kiss her. I need to feel her with me. And I realize there, with her lips on mine, that I don't need to hold back. This girl is my strength and she's the strongest girl I know. Even with only six fears, I know she's braver than me and I love her. And she needs to know. I need her to know.

"You would be fine." Because I'd be dead, right along with you. "Not at first." She doesn't even look at me because she knows it isn't true. "But you would move on." Never. "And do what you have to."

I pull her closer to me because she knows that none of what she said is true. I would never be fine. "That's a _lie_." And we both know it.

She reaches for me and I feel her arms around me. I can feel her hands grazing through my skin, my blood rushing through my ears. Her touch is like fire, sending the blood underneath my skin to boil up. My breathing becomes erratic and I am not strong. I can barely hold myself upright. And everything seems to stop. But she keeps me strong, steady, and unstoppable. She makes me what I need to be.

I stumble backward, taking her with me, and I sit on the edge of my bed. She's right in front of me and I look into those blue eyes of hers. I reach out to touch her face, her skin like velvet against my hand, then on her neck and then even lower, my hand memorizing the shape of her. And she is precious – a doll made of glass and metal. Tempered and tested through fire, water, and blood.

She kisses me and I can breathe again.

She kisses me and closer, she needs to be closer to me. I kiss her harder.

My hands keep her close to me and I can almost feel the skin near her waist and it's all I can do to stay still, to keep calm, to not want her with the intensity that I do. But I do.

"Promise me." My voice comes out as a whisper. "That you won't go. For me. Do this one thing for me."

I know she won't but I can't help but hope. I plead with her, I would beg of her not to go but I know she'll go. And the both of us could be dead by tomorrow. And I know she'll lie to me. Because that's what she does. And I know her.

"Okay."

"Promise."

"I promise."

But that was a lie too.

X X X

"I love you."

I am dreaming. I am on a field of corn and the entire field is the colour of her hair. The sky is Tris-coloured blue and I know that I am dreaming.

Her voice comes from the skies, from the air, from the corn crops that surround me and those three words could keep me here forever.

"I love you."

The other side of the bed is cold and I am holding on to air.

I look for a note, a piece of her, anything that she might have left behind to make me think that she would want me to remember her. She didn't. Of course she didn't. She would want me to forget. She would want me to live. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to live.

Neither of us could get what we want.

I leapt off the bed and rushed to where the other Dauntless were. Some of them had already awake and she was not there. I knew she wasn't.

"Four!"

It was familiar but it wasn't her voice. And she didn't call me Four anymore.

I turn to see Christina looking at me, her eyes weary. "I thought you were with Tris. She said something about visiting her brother with the factionless."

Lies, Tris. All lies.

"Damn it," I mutter under my breath and I look at Christina and I know she knows where Tris is. Her eyes widen and I swear to God, there were tears there. "Don't say anything. Don't tell anyone."

"Four, you're not thinking of-"

"I have to."

"Four-"

"Don't tell anyone."

"Why not? Since both of you are obviously suicidal and are begging to be killed off by the Erudite, I think we deserve to know why two of our strongest fighters suddenly want to die at the hands of some-"

"Christina, shut up," I say. "We're not going to die."

I'm lying.

"I'm going to get her out of there. Don't be stupid. It would cause a panic and we're not known for remaining calm."

Christina stares at me for a long while and for a moment, I feel sorry for her. She's probably the last one Tris ever spoke to. She's probably the last person I'll ever speak to.

"Bring her back alive," she says.

"She'll be with me," I reply. And I'll be with her. Because we would both be dead by the end of this.

And then I'm running.

I took nothing with me and I just run. Away from the Dauntless and to death. No one will call me a coward, no one will ever say that I feared death. I ran to it face first.

"I love you," she said in my dreams.

Then wait for me.

Because I'm coming for you.

Because if you die, I die too.

**A/N:** I couldn't get this little one-shot out of my head. Blargh. It wasn't well thought of and again, it's another late-night thing so it's not proofread and for that, I apologize. I'm writing so many things at the same time at the moment, I simply have to put my ideas out there or else they'll slip away. I hope you liked this little one shot!

**Disclaimer**: I'm just a teenage girl with a blog. Characters and most of the dialogue belong to Veronica Roth.


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